Archive | October, 2014

13 positive habits that I picked up along the way

15 Oct

Everyone goes through ups and downs in life and it is rather normal. But once you are done moping, crying your heart out, and stopped thinking about the negativities that bring you down, you will slowly realize that you can fight the sadness. This isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time. It takes patience and a lot of strength.

Of course, you want to be happy too but when we are at our weakest, we feel the need to rely on others to make us happy. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. There will be lots of people telling you lots of different things but there is only so much that people will and can do. The rest is up to you. Trust me, there will be only so many times that your friends or family will hear your heartbreak story. Beyond that, no one really cares. It’s not to say that they don’t want to be there for you in your hour of need but then everyone has a lot going on too. Each one of us is fighting a battle, silently.

Some people rely on friends and family to get through hard times. Some just need time by themselves to feel better. I chose the latter. I took time off from everything. Friends, work and social media since it practically runs our days. It took me 3 months but I am here, writing this. Sharing my journey that I am not ashamed of.

When I first started out, I was super weak and I had no strength in me to see this through. I didn’t think I would ever be ok. To be honest, I still am not but at least I am in control of my emotions now and that’s progress, however small it may be in the larger scheme of things.

The following habits take a while to get a hang of but make an effort and tell yourself that you can do this. Don’t let your emotions control you but learn to control them.

1. Empathise. Empathise. Empathise

I cannot stress on this habit enough. The importance of being empathetic cannot be overstated. We always talk about being human, but we also need to be humane. Just because it’s not happening to you right now does not mean that you will not go through the same situation a couple days, weeks, months or years later. Try and empathize with what the other person might be feeling at that particular moment by putting yourself in their shoes. It’s a remarkably eye-opening and liberating experience. It’s helped me understand myself a lot better.

2. Karma works

When you are at your lowest low, you may feel that life’s being unfair to you. No, not really. Sometimes we do things without realizing like we may have hurt someone or said something to somebody without really having an intention to. When life throws a hard situation at you, it’s only trying to correct what you must have done wrong in the past. Live through that and be good to others and genuine in your actions.

Like my grandmum always says, “Do good and then just forget about it. Stop expecting anything in return.”

3. Talk to people and see if they need your help

A lot of people are going through a lot worse than you are. Now, I am not saying that your problems are not important; they are. But, there is also someone out there who is going through an unimaginable loss and someone who could feel better if you spent a couple of minutes talking to them or just listening to their problems. Find that one person who you haven’t been able to keep in touch with and just talk. Share the pain. Without realizing you may (or just might) change the course of their lives, not instantly, but maybe over time. It honestly is a good feeling.

4. Make lists

Lists always help. Whether it is grocery shopping, or just an appointment at the spa, PUT IT ON THE LIST! There is nothing more satisfying than crossing things off! An uncanny sort of adrenaline rush.

5. Work on that hobby that you put on the back-burner

There is no better way to keep yourself occupied than learning something new. This could be anything. With our full-time jobs, some of the things that bring us comfort are locked up in boxes and shoved under the cupboard. Take those boxes out, dust them and find yourself working on that hobby that you love.

I love food so I will watch anything that deals with the subject. I love to cook and its therapy for me. So, I took my time off and decided to focus on those two things – food and writing. That’s how I finally got to set up my food blog. It has about 66 likes but it’s a start!

It will take time to build and reach your goal but you will get there. Just keep at it.

 6Listen to yourself

There will be lots of people saying lots of different things. But, you need to be strong enough to understand what’s good for you and what’s not. Listen to what everyone has to say but at the end of the day, filter it out and do what is good for you. You are important and only you can heal yourself.

7. Laugh out Loud

Remember LOL? Well, most people just say it without really meaning it. Practise laughing out loud. Watch something that cracks you up and has happy tears running down your eyes. Tell a joke, read a comic. Whatever it is that is going to have you in splits. I started watching Saturday Night Live to liven up my spirits when thoughts of despair clogged my overworked brain.

8. Cut off from everything that may be bringing you down

You are going to come across different types of people in life and you do not need to be everyone’s friend. The hardest of times show the truest of friends. When I was at my dullest, I decided to cut off from everything and everyone that was bringing me down. I deactivated my Facebook account, I stopped checking Instagram, deleted Snapchat. I also stepped away from friends for a little while, quit going out when it was not needed. It was nice to be surrounded by people but then when you are going through a rough patch in life, you will know who your friends are. Hang on to the ones who were there for you and show the respectable finger to the rest of them.

You are not a machine. You feel and you have a heart. Do this because it’s good for you and do not put yourself in a situation where you come out upset and a lot more depressed. You do not need that right now. You need to heal so step away for a while. Those who really care for you, be it friends or family, will find a way to keep in touch.

9. Encourage others to do good

Do not be preachy but encourage others to do something good. If you notice that someone at work or school or among your friends is doing something that is worthy of appreciation, let them know. You never know. Encouraging someone to follow their heart makes them believe in themselves and this, I feel, is important. We need a lot more people to truly believe in themselves and have faith in what they do. Be it two words, they need that tug of good-willingness.

10. Embrace your emotions

Do not be ashamed of letting go. Do not be afraid to break down every once in a while to empty yourself of feelings that may destroy you if bottled up. Find an outlet for these emotions. For me, it’s usually writing or just watching something till I know I have cleansed myself and driven past that negative feeling.

11. Judge less, accept more

I have always been quite judgmental before but I have learnt that it doesn’t do me any good. No one is perfect including me. Everyone is the way they are for a reason. There is probably a lot more to them than meets the eye. Step back a little and do not judge anyone for who they might have been in their weakest moment. They, too, may be fighting a battle that we know nothing of. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

12. Follow your heart

I believe that each one of us has a story to tell, and a purpose to serve. I have always followed my heart and did things that made me happy. I still continue to do so. Use your head too because it’s within your mind where everything starts and it’s what lets you feel those deep-ended emotions.

13. Choose Happiness

In the end, choose to be happy. It’s a choice that varies in substance for people, so you need to create your own bubble of happy thoughts and run to it when you are on the down-low. It’s your choice to be happy. Let go of the worries and the things you do not have the power to change. Believe that it will come to you when it has to. For now, focus on yourself and the good things that you can give, create, inspire and choose to experience. Right here. Right now.

 

I do not mean to be preachy or sound like one of those articles on the internet where people just list out things. But this is me. This is my experience and this is what I have done in the past couple of months to help myself become a better person.

Whoever is reading this, know that it’s going to be ok in the end. Don’t change or stop for anyone or anything. Be true to yourself!

August Positive Affirmations Wallpaper2