17 Jan

It’s been a couple of months since that season of rain and that to in the summer.Hell,it’s been autumn since then.Dried.Yellow.Mellowed.

A dry,heavy scent in the breeze
Making it hard for one to breathe.

It’s autumn since that storm of the summer.The storm that had a dim rainbow in the end.The storm of passionate rain.I am reminded of it constantly.It was a whole new experience.Definitely a different one. Unique in it’s unspoken ways.That is the reason why I am so articulately reminded of it.
Personally, I love the rain.I simply love everything about it.The rumbling of thunder through the sky.The merging of full,heavy clouds with each other.The string of raindrops that fall like pearls from Heaven.The sound of their pitter-patter liquid of hope as they gently touch the ground.The feel of that purity on your skin comes along with a sense of freshness and relief.I love the smell of water touching grass.It’s like a soft ,lingering smell.completely breathable and pure.I can smell it while I type.

I lived my life in a deserted sandy cove.Sunny and chilly are the only two experiences that I have known.The rain that came after so surprisingly and yet so smoothly still baffles me now.But when I look back now, I am not surprised as to what I did.It was by my own choice of thought.
I welcomed the rain with wide outstretched arms.

Like who wouldn’t.Anyone in their sanest of practical minds wouldn’t but I was neither.I was like a tiny plant in the midst of a harsh desert with an undiscovered oasis miles away.I was thirsty and I think I wanted to quench that thirst that had accumulated over the years and so I let it soak me and free my spirit of it’s dryness.

I still remember clearly the purity of it all when it touched the first layers of skin,soaking me and everything around.I remember the feeling of engulfment from deep within and a sense of an unspoken overwhelming passion wash over me.
I felt like a cherry blossoming in the season.All full and ripe.
First it was slow.Soft and calm.But then there came a breeze.A slight one initially.By now the clouds had grown closer and had drawn the shades on the sun.It had grown dark and I could have sworn that I had seen stars.It felt like heaven nonetheless.
The rain came everyday.Bigger,sweeter and more breezier.It came and swept me off my feet.I allowed myself to sway in its melancholy rhythm.I initially used an umbrella to not fall prey to an illness.But the more I tried to cover myself up,interiorly I wanted to let go and I did in the end.I stopped using cover.Unafraid, I let it drench me.
I shivered.Got scared.Felt numb.Fell sick also but I loved every inch of rain that fell hitherto.I thanked the heavens for draining their love on me.It poured like this for a few weeks and a couple of months.I used to tell myself that someday the rain would stop and it would all be back to normal again.I tried to mentally prepare myself but my heart wouldn’t allow it.
Every minute of every night turned into worrying doubts about whether I would be greeted by a chilled drizzle or a warm ray the next day.What I feared most happened.I had become dependant on it now.
I sensed it in the air before it came like a deafening calm just before the storm.I was dreading it since long and now it was here.Legally uninvited.It was hauntingly quiet when there was one last round of thunder and a heavy downpour before it all ended.This time the raindrops didn’t feel like pearls.They more or less felt like pieces of shattered clear glass falling, cutting through the delicate parts of the skin that had welcomed it and so lovingly embraced it.
I cried in the rain.Openly and unashamed.I felt like a fool to have thought that it would last forever.My summer of rain. It had fooled me and I had allowed myself to be fooled.
I remember these lines from the series ‘How I met your Mother’ where Lily talks about a wandering urge to find what she really is meant to do in her life.The lines are as follows,
There are certain things in life where you know its a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go,” Yup, that was a mistake.”So,really the mistake would be to not make that mistake because then you’ll go about your life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not.”
And here’s the thing about mistakes.Sometimes even when you know something’s a mistake, you gotta make it anyway.My memories of the Summer Rain are like little dewy pellets on everything that had been exposed to the rain, myself included.


15 Responses to “SUMMER RAIN”

  1. Sana January 17, 2008 at 3:00 AM #

    There is a deeper meaning to this post.A hidden one.I hold the key to it’s true meaning.Well Rahul too.Let’s see how everyone else deciphers it.Each one of you reading it,share with me your thoughts and your personal perceptions regarding this post.What you understood from it.One word means not the same to another unless the choice differs.


  2. moltenphoenix January 18, 2008 at 6:17 PM #

    hmmm that was some amazing stuff !!luv ya for dat…. :)ok so deciphering it was somethin..and writing it here is too much of a job !!it is more about trust… the faith you put in a stranger in a strange land..the future looks so promising and so simple but there’s more to it than what meets the eye !!! betrayal would be a better word to define d feeling behind it…well thats how i get the whole picture…


  3. Sharada February 3, 2008 at 7:31 PM #

    So someone has the U2 widget up? *Pats herself on back for telling Sana abt it* :p wonder if the movie will come here?


  4. Sana February 3, 2008 at 7:34 PM #

    Es Es.. sanq !! Its been well appreciated 😉


  5. Sharada February 19, 2008 at 1:19 PM #

    Sana. we’ve been thoroughly sand’widget’d by your blog!


  6. Velcro February 20, 2008 at 3:41 AM #

    Well I deciphered it to be a true expression of heart. You know it feels nice to read the thought process of others. Your line of thought is smooth and interesting to read.


  7. Sana February 20, 2008 at 12:53 PM #

    Thank You so much ! 🙂 @ Velcro


  8. vm March 3, 2008 at 6:24 PM #

    well ma’am i thoroughly enjoyed reading your post…. you write really well….a great insight into making mistakes , learning and growing.great work.


  9. Sana March 3, 2008 at 6:54 PM #

    thank u vm 🙂 !!


  10. vj8 July 8, 2008 at 10:52 AM #

    a good read, And I dint sleep at work today, wow, :DI am a sick asshole, so I won’t really state how I deciphered it,but the essence is the choices we make,college, work, love, relation, life, the choices we make could makes us happy, or make us feel stupid, but as the quoted lines from a sitcom in this post, you would otherwise have never known, if choice was not based on chance & hope, but on pure logic, may be we would still be cavemen, :Dnice read, so you are a writer by profession?


  11. Sana July 8, 2008 at 2:57 PM #

    I take that u not dozing off at wrk as a compliment :PIts fun to read other people’s deferences…write in urs.And no I am not a writer by profession.I would love to be one someday :). I stil haf a year left on my degree..


  12. vj8 July 9, 2008 at 9:11 AM #

    Yup it was a compliment, :)And about how I tried to decipher it, you know with pieces as this (almost written like a poem, so much emotion), mine was almost like what moltenphoenix has written, just replace the words Faith and betrayal, with love, and learning, respectively, :)another half year at coll, ! whew, if u choose to I don’t think so you should have any trouble finding a writers job, I am reading some of your older posts, but i get paid to write crap, and my manager wants it now 😀 , so I will keep checking whenever I get time,


  13. Sana July 9, 2008 at 12:00 PM #

    hehhe..thanks .. ;)yeah i wanna start riting and get paid fer it but then u sorta lose that passion ..i dunno..i m a person of tht sort…


  14. vj8 July 10, 2008 at 5:02 AM #

    The Hindu has got a youth special called NXG I was meant to work for it, but I dint like the idea of working in Chennai, they need freelance writers too, I will find out.but if you want to “write” go start your book, you can tick one in the bucketlist, and have loads of fun when it gets published.


  15. Sana July 10, 2008 at 12:28 PM #

    yup yup 😀


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